This Toddlin' Town

I love vacations.

I rarely, if ever, take time off - I'm much like the Black Knight from Monty Python & the Holy Grail, wearing myself to the very core and pronouncing, "It's only a flesh wound." Now, I've learned the power of time off, of sick time - to regenerate, contemplate, and basically employ time in a profitless and non-practical way.

Yesterday was gray and rainy in the Lou. Headed to a task force meeting that I hadn't attended in a long time (from my last job), and then a Young Friend Committee meeting for BGTM (first symptom of being a chronic civic overachiever - attending meetings on your day off. However, I was finished by afternoon, finished packing, made arrangements for care of my kitty, and then off to Lambert. I had expected the usual - crowded flight, with my sole focus on a book I was reading based on perusing the cover at Left Bank Books.

Then, she walked in - a rather attractive young woman who chose the seat next to mine. No, this isn't one of those kind of posts - she is engaged, and the airline had overbooked the plane.

Anyway, you have to love a conversation that begins:

HER: Just a word of warning - I'm a puker.
ME: I don't care - just aim forward.

Normally - and many of you reading out there may not believe this - but I'm a shy, quiet kind of guy. However, my super power is that people, for some reason, begin sharing their innermost with me - maybe it's the counseling training, or a really strong mojo, but she and I began talking. It started off innocently, but it trailed through - from personal issues to things we missed about Chicago (namely quirky places that stayed open), to our backgrounds, to the fact that - amazingly - I happen to know her uncle. (He and I went to the same high school).

And they say St. Louis is an insider town.

As the plane landed, I gave her my contact information, as well as made a formal introduction. It was a pleasant and humbling experience - for awhile now, I've been craving basic human contact. Nothing major, just the ability to really connect with another human being. Most of my friends have been busy, and I've been really isolated thanks to work (and other issues). If I gain nothing else but last night's conversation, I'll be grateful. From here, it's onto my godson Logan's birthday and my high school reunion...and you'll get the skinny right here.

Mandatory Comics/Pop Culture Post - Caught this item on Polite Dissent. Personally, not a big fan of the artist, but it's only two issues - what damage can he do?

Heading Down to Chi-Town

Just a heads-up; next time you hear from me, I'll be blogging from Chicago, where I'll be enjoying my godson's birthday, reuniting with my high school classmates, and eating breaded steak sandwiches the size of Doberman puppies.

Until then, behave yourselves, and enjoy these Animaniacs articles from one of my favorite blogs.

Mirror THIS, Pal!

First, a huge shout-out to both Delenda Est Carthago (who makes me regret all the Latin I learned in high school) and Ink Slinger - two blogs worth your attention, and who are on the blogroll. Of course, between settling things at work and prepping for a trip to Chicago this weekend, haven't had much time to write about anything (and of course, I'll be blogging this weekend if Mom lets me use her computer), but there is a matter that I've wanted to mention.

I have always enjoyed parallel world stories, and like many a geek, my inspiration came from the Mirror Universe episode of Star Trek. It was more than just an "evil twin" story, as it suggested...well, an Empire instead of a Federation. Our heroes with just a slight twist, and the moral that it's easier for civilized people to act like barbarians than vice versa. Our Kirk encouraged the Mirror Spock to help reform the Empire...and we saw the results on several episodes of Deep Space Nine. A Terran Empire torn apart by compassion, and overrun by a mirror Klingon/Cardassian alliance that made their positive counterparts look like Care Bears.

Many of the troubles surrounding Enterprise have been well-documented (and summarized in this article from Screenrant.com), but I am glad to say that last Friday's "In A Mirror, Darkly" has managed to do two things for me:

1. Make me want to watch the episode again (thank God in St. Louis it's shown on Friday and Saturday nights); and
2. Sell off my mother to see Part Two.

In all honesty, it does have its flaws - I still can't buy the premise that the divergence came at the time of First Contact (and, if it does, blows the producer's "Enterprise-is-in-a-parallel-world-thanks-to-the-Borg explanation), and prefer a "they're just the opposite" explanation from Star Trek: Dark Mirror.

(OK, I've read a Star Trek novel or two...but I've read more Doctor Who novels, so that's all right).

Admittedly, this has the same fanboy-continuity-porn feel as your average issue of JSA, only with the added advantage of giving the cast a little more opportunity to chew scenery. (And to Linda Park...you can be this captain's woman anytime, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more....did I type that out loud?) I mean, why couldn't this have been the standard, rather than the exception? Why did we have to wait this frickin' long?

After this two-parter are three more episodes - one a two-parter about xenophobes on Earth (which will end with the bad guys changing their ways and realizing how we should all hold hands and embrace diversity), and then a wacky crossover with The Next Generation

Catch the Mirror episodes while you can, folks. It won't get any better than this, and that's sad. Trek deserved better.

Dead End Dreams Don't Make You Smile

Maybe it's the fact that I had a hell of a week - a week that has me wondering if I'm burning out, just had it, wanting to just fade out. I guess I just was in a mood to watch a movie about a pioneering rock group that started with great heights, but that ended bitterly, with members lashing out at each other years later.

In their time, The Runaways were the Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera of their time - teenage girls playing loud-and-fast songs about typical rock'n'roll matters. Edgeplay is a 25 years after the fact documentary, and easily one of the top ten rock'n'roll films of all time - I've made no secret of my own personal choices. But this movie - directed by a former bass player and without the cooperation of the Runaways' most well-known member - is one of the most intriguing documentaries about a band's rise-and-fall ever made.

It's not an easy movie to watch - not because the movie isn't well made (although there are one or two pretentious moments), but because years after the dissolution of the band, emotional wounds still linger. You get the sense (and he does little to counter this impression) that Kim Fowley, the manwho "organized" the Runaways - is nothing more than an American Malcolm McLaren. (I would like to submit The Mayor of Sunset Strip as further evidence). Seeing the aftereffects, the bitterness, so many years after the fact is unsettling...but honest.

Ironically, this film features little (if any) original Runaways music except for two covers - but, of course, many of the troubles surrounding this film have been documented. However, it not only has great original music, the lack of Runaways music gives the film much greater power. The focus isn't on play-the-hit-get-to-the-drama; it's about the emotional aftereffects of fame, fortune, and managerial manipulation on six teenage girls. It's also a movie that provides something of a cautionary tale - to say more would be spoiling it.

Well, it's back to a weekend full of rest, relaxation, and laundry - later this week, I'm flying to Chicago for my high school reunion, and my godson's second birthday. That should help me let go of a lot of the junk I've endured this week. Oh, well, there's one other thing I can be grateful for - thank God I'm not Richard Roeper.

The Joys of Online Activism

You know, some people just need a wake-up call, a brief moment where the cold water of reality is splashed in their faces, and they need to realize that they can get over it and move on.

While reading the greatest comic blog in the multiverse, there was a rather snarky remark about Petition Online being a "goldmine of comedy". (Don't worry, Mike - you are spared my contempt) Whereas it does have legitimate uses, so far, I've seen several petition calls for

• Ted Kord's Blue Beetle coming back from the dead
• Jack Black being "fired" as Green Lantern - for a movie in development
• An all superhero cable channel; and
• More Paris Hilton on television.

(I'm kidding about that final one. Honest).

In addition, there's also news that Trek United - the fundraising effort for a fifth series of Enterprise - is slowly, but surely, coming undone. In that effort, I would like to announce my own advocacy effort - boycotting dumb initiatives.

First, online petitions often have little effect - don't believe me? Then believe Snopes.com
But if that isn't enough, really - in the grand scheme of things, how really important is Ted Kord as Blue Beetle? Yes, I'm miffed at it too, but I'm exercising my right to (gasp) not purchase any more Infinite Crisis prequels/crossovers and spend my money on indie books, books that deserve support, etc. (And if you have a suggestion, write it down in the comments. I'm always looking for new reading experiences).

Also, for those who donated to Trek United - shame on you. Come on, would Gene Roddenberry support such a myopic initiative? Think about it - Trek was always about (on some level) building a better future, not about one television show. There are people who are starving, poor, who need a break - especially in this country - and you're sending your money to fund a television show? Yes, it will be returned...but what the heck were you thinking?

(Brief pause - take a breath, my week has been busy, I'm stressed out, no need to take it out on the good people of the blogosphere).

So, if you're thinking of signing an online petition - don't. If you want to make a difference in this world, put down a comic book, move away from the set, and get involved. Find a cause you want to support, and back it up. I'll even help - after all, it's my paying job to do so. (I'm hereby volunteering to help people get lives). You might even meet people, and lo and behold, you'll begin to realize what you are truly capable of, and that there is a big old world outside the Internet. You can gain the power to make drastic change.

Or to quote one of my favorite albums of all time: "Revolution begins at home, preferably in the bathroom mirror."

EDIT - another article has been added, so "coming" and "undone" link to two separate articles. Doesn't change the main point, though.

Evil! Evil! Impolite & Evil!

Only because, let's face it, there isn't enough Kids in the Hall blog stuff out there, unless you count Barb's site:


You are Hecubus! I knew it! Evil! Evil after all
this time! You are imminently evil! Your life
is consumed by doing evil deeds like blocking
your Master's car in the driveway or showing up
drunk to the taping of your EVIL show. You
don't have many friends, in fact you only have
two, Simon-who is really more of your Master,
and Mr.Vodka! Deep down you may seem like a
nice person...no, nevermind you are evil to the
core. Now, repeat after me, Owa tana siam!


Which Kids in the Hall Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Talkin' 'Bout Regeneration

Whether you think it was planned (as per the BBC), or a huge administrative cock-up (as per Arnold Rimmer), recent news about the new Doctor show that, sometimes, a revival of an old show can recapture some of the old magic.

Does Not Compute

This has been a really busy week - so much so that I'm considering sending my resume to the BBC for an open acting part. But anyway, it's times like this that gear me towards good old fashioned turn-off-your-brain entertainment.

One of the giants of turn-off-your-brain entertainment....well, he was like a child. He had a penchant for monsters, stock footage, and sometimes goofy dialogue. He has a slight cult following, and his name is simultaneously respected and reviled. He also died a few days after Gene Roddenberry.

His name is Irwin Allen.

Although noted more for movies like The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, his masterworks are his television shows - Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Lost in Space (his masterpiece), The Time Tunnel, and Land of the Giants. All of these shows are featured on this mega-cool documentary that has gotten significant play here in the Casa de Blog This, Pal! - The Fantasy Worlds of Irwin Allen.

What is amazing about Allen's television work is that it begins so promisingly - Voyage was a spin-off of a major motion picture, and began as a half science fiction/Cold War drama, but gradually turned into a "monster of the week" show. Lost in Space began as a half-earnest science fiction drama, and although the documentary plays this up a little too much, impacted people the same way another classic 1960's science fiction show did - in fact, had Gene Roddenberry not existed, we might be talking about Lost in Space: Deep Space Nine.

(Just a tangential thought - how many people out there think Dark Shadows was an American counterpart to Doctor Who? No one...then it is just me)

But watching Fantasy Worlds, what becomes amazingly apparent is that Allen's work is definitely of its time...and that his ideas were somewhat limited. You can find small pleasures in his later television work, but gradually, both Time Tunnel and Land of the Giants often resulted on "let's-run-away" plots more frequently than you heard the phrase "Run Away" in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Plus, on the disc are two late 1960's/early 1970's series proposals that would have been cutting edge in 1965....in 1970, they just seemed immature, juvenile, and hokey.

(Of course, according to the documetary, English fans have taken to Land of the Giants the same way Mike Sterling takes to Swamp Thing. Maybe Psychbloke and/or Dr. Sordid can explain this - I sure as heck can't).

That's fine, though - Irwin Allen might have thought he was doing serious drama, but sometimes, it takes more talent to write "Rock and Roll All Night" than "Hey Jude".

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

This Ain't No Picnic

This is a personal rant/blog, so if you came for the sharp pop culture analysis, maybe tomorrow.

There are some fundamental truths in the universe - you don't pull on Superman's cape, you don't spit in the wind, you don't pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger and you don't get a flat tire on Highway 40.

At 3:25 pm Saturday afternoon, after a long day at Chesterfield Mall, my passenger side tire began making an unusual sound as my car slowed down and shook violently. After pulling to the side of the road and turning on my emergency flashers, I went to inspect the damage on the tire - it looked like Wolverine and my cat decided to sharpen their claw on the tire. It wasn't just flat - it was in shreds. Fortunately, I had AAA and my cell phone, and was near one of their garages. Luckily, a MODOT truck came along - he couldn't help, since help was already on the way, but soon, my donut spare was replaced, and I drove home. Luckily, I was able to find a garage which replaced the tire, and I'm a little poorer, but OK.

Right now, however, I'm not feeling so great about it - I'm feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and it's just another headache. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful nothing serious happened, and there's so much more going for me.

However, when a line from one of my favorite episodes of Red Dwarf came on, I found myself laughing even harder than before. Why, I have no idea, especially given that it's not a punch line.

"Jake Bullet: Cybernautic Detective." I like that! That sounds like the kind of hard-living flatfoot who gets the job done by cutting corners and bucking authority, and if those pen pushers up at City Hall don't like it, well, they can park their overpaid fat asses on this mid digit and swivel -- swivel 'til they squeal like pigs on a honeymoon!"

Ah, well, back to the regular grind tomorrow. Just needed to share.

Mr. Flibble Doles Out The Harshness

Ok, it's been a hard week, and it's only gonna get harder. It's easy to fall into angst-o-rama at this point - but thanks to a nice tax refund, I have received the greatest post-birthday present that I could give myself. A show at least one blogger considers a guilty pleasure, but which I have enjoyed since my good friend Craig showed it to me whilst I was down in the dumps in my early days here in St. Louis.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....series 5 and 6 of Red Dwarf.

It came around in Britain just around the time Doctor Who was canceled, and (in my opinion) is one of the funniest shows that deals (quite cleverly) with science fiction concepts. Holograms, time travel, parallel universes - all were treated seriously as concepts, but were wrapped in frequently clever writing, and there were very few dull bits - in fact, even the episodes that didn't work have a sparkle and snap that American sitcoms never did.

Series 5 and 6 (or "seasons" five and six) continued RD at a high point, with season 5 being the definite climax of the season. It started with "Holoship", and with dead hologram Rimmer given a chance to be among his own kind. "The Inquisitor" dealt with choices, as two of the shipmates were deleted from the space-time continuum and replaced with their "sperms-in-law." One of the crew's deepest, darkest psyche came to life in "Terrorform", and disease results in Lister, Kryten, and the Cat placed in "Quarantine". A triplicator ends up splitting Red Dwarf into its good and evil selves in "Demons and Angels", and the series ends with "Back to Reality", where the crew find that things are not all as they seem....

Unfortunately, series 6 (the last series with Rob Grant's involvement - after this, Doug Naylor would write with Paul Alexander) begins showing some the cracks, and a few of the episodes just don't have that gleam. There are some great moments - Lister shows musical talent ("Psirens"), dorky Dwayne Dibbley and mega-heroic Ace Rimmer return ("Emohawk - Polymorph 2", a sequel to an earlier episode), a unique way to defeat a gestalt entity ("Legion"), but somehow, the scripts lack that certain oomph. This season also contains the first real clunker - "Rimmerworld". However, this series also contains the near perfect "Gunmen of the Apocalypse" and "Out of Time" - the last ten minutes is the greatest cliffhanger in Red Dwarf history.

However, during this time (as the bonus disc on series 5 reveals), there was an American pilot of Red Dwarf, leading to some slight tension between the leads. Looking at footage from the American pilot, it's easy to see why it failed - most British drama and comedy is character-driven, with the jokes coming from the characters' behavior. Much of American comedy is based on set-up/punch line, and as the Dwarfing USA drama suggests, television production is reminiscent of Douglas Adam's comment about Hollywood filmmaking being like heating a steak by having people breathe on it. In fact, the network that sponsored the RD pilot even recast for another pilot, with my crush du jour as candidate for the Cat, but it never happened.

Cheers to Warner Home Video/BBC Home Video - for approximately $30, you receive six episodes with commentaries, a bonus disc with extras, including deleted scenes, bloopers, small documentaries, Easter Eggs (including Macromedia Flash-esque animations, and on Series 5, Danny Jule-Johns reenacting a scene from a sci-fi classic). However, I may end up skipping series 7 (easily the weakest, even with the obvious charms of Chloe Annett) and going straight to Series 8, which easily reflected the best of the past, and has the greatest series-ending scene in history.

So, on other words, don't be a smeghead, be a special agent with a PhD in trashing bozos like my pal Brian - and if you need to catch up, you can also purchase the first four series on DVD. You'll laugh harder than you ever have in your life.

Who Needs A Social Life?

Whew, boy, figured I would head to the library and blog between work meetings - right now, this week and next are going to be mega-busy, and luckily, there are some really cool events coming up that you might get a glimpse of me at, if you're lucky.

First, there's Venus Envy on the 16th - it's an event that features female artists, and is one of the greatest shindigs here in town. I'll be working reception from 7:30 to 9:30 pm, and after that, I'll be taking in the sights, wink wink nudge nudge say no more.

Also, there's an upcoming Happy Hour for Boys and Girls Town of Missouri that I did nothing for (that pesky job always gets in the way, and if my employers are reading this - I'm kidding), but I would strongly encourage you to register to come. (Yes, I'm the big guy in the blue shirt and tie in the picture.)

You know, it's times like this that sometimes - sometimes - I wish I had become an accountant.

Guilty Pleasures: Cheesy Docudramas

First, a bit of news - Johanna at Cognitive Dissonance has announced voting for the upcoming Squiddy awards, which serves rec.arts.comic usenet groups. (I used to hang around the usenet back in the day, but it was more...well, that's a post for another time). However, she deserves all the flattery she can get for doing so.

Anyway, back to our post - I have to admit, I spent last night watching something that I probably shouldn't have - a made-for-tv movie about Mork and Mindy. No, not because there's something inherently evil about the movie, or even revelatory (apparently, the network brass interfered with the show, and Robin Williams had a drug problem - wow, who knew?). In fact, this is a trend that has been around awhile, focusing mostly on '80s shows with a few notable exceptions.

I know what you're thinking: "Dude, what's the deal?"

Maybe it's the fact that, since they take place in relatively recent times, the movies are filmed on a low budget, and at times, it shows. Maybe it's the mixture of camp, high drama, and People magazine gossip that makes them appealing. Maybe it's some of the casting choices, like the Borg Queen playing Joan Collins.

Or maybe - in my case - it's a way to wallow in nostalgia without having to recognize that it is nostalgia. But you have to admit, at times, these movies are fun - they're like Cliff Notes versions of the E! True Hollywood Story.

Personally, I can't wait until someone makes tv movies about the blogosphere. I can see the titles now - From Swamp Thing to Sweet Thang, Poker Face, Rack 'Em Up, Subtext - What Subtext?, Good On Ya!, This Culture We Call Pop, Bad Medicine, Spores!, Be Right When Being Right!, Free Comics!, Dark & Sweaty, and of course, Highly Caffeinated

(If I didn't mention your blog above, I couldn't think of a clever title - and now, it's off to lovely, scenic St. Charles County for a merchant ed training. Yay!)

Green Eggs and Slime

First, on a comics tip - I'm seriously wanting to change my comic reading habits, and want to put my money where my mouth is. If you have any good recommendations for well-written books, please go ahead and leave them in the comments section. Also, don't forget the House of the Ded Bluesman contest. But now, I'm going to change gears.

Right now, my work duties usually end up with me spending some long, lonely nights in front of the television watching DVDs, so I end up catching up on old favorites, building new ones, and basically wallowing in pop culture trivia. This week's treasure...

It was Doctor Who's tenth anniversary, and it started off with a whiff-of-nostalgia anniversary story, followed by an all-out classic, with Roger Delgado's swan song (Frontier in Space/Planet of the Daleks), and finished with The Green Death. My only question - why doesn't this final story work? Why, watching this final tale on DVD, does it seem incredibly...OK? Not too good, got great (until the last ten minutes), but just...there.

Part of it has to do with the overall tone of the story - as Terrance Dicks remarks in the commentary, they started with a moral and worked a story around that. This is a story that tries way too hard to be "relevant", and the slightly self-important posturing of several involved (including Script Editor Dicks, Producer Barry Letts, and writer Robert Sloman) keep reinforcing the fact that this story predicted the Internet, talked about ecology, and warned about globalization - all issues that were covered in other stories. It's certainly not the production values, which were state-of-the-art at the time. (Of course, one of the DVD's extras is a "mockumentary" about the story by Mark Gatiss, who reunites many of the actors in a slight send-up of X-Files-ish paranoia).

Perhaps it was because, in this story at least, Doctor Who lost its Britishness, and not because it was filmed in Wales. Most American science-fiction television - at least, until the 1990s - seemed centered on the "big lesson/monologue at the end." I won't name any forebears (*cough*Star Trek*cough*), but most science fiction that attempts to "predict" end up being little more than pedantic, beat-a-dead-horse dramas. Most British science fiction, like DW and Blake's Seven, start off as strong, relatively well-written dramas, with (at times) subtle commentary on human affairs. In short, they set out to entertain first and educate second - something which those involved seemed to forget.

However, the end of this story has a killer ending ten minutes - and no, that isn't a joke. This is the last story to feature Jo Grant, played by Katy Manning. Underplayed, well directed, and just...I defy you not to shed a tear. It's an excellent payoff to the rest of the episode, and on that basis, is well recommended.

I Want My Dollar Back!

Just read DC Countdown, and like many on the blogosphere, I thought the book stunk.

Stunk like a big cow pie in the middle of Kansas on a hot June day.

There's a much better (and funnier) criticism of the book elsewhere, but hoo boy, I want my mind wiped after reading this book. (Ok, it's a lame Identity Crisis joke, but still...) Cardboard plotting, lame first-person narration, poor art, and a real sense of "hey, kids, we're now grim and gritty!"

And screw spoiler alerts - I thought the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League had its moments (not a big fan, but read the book consistently), but what in the name of Chthulu is wrong with these guys? Why does Blue Beetle, all of a sudden, need to be seen as some kind of lame character rather than as one with potential? (I'm also extremely disappointed with the Jason-Todd- as-Red-Hood reveal in Batman). It's poor, shoddy, lame fan fiction at its worst. (Funny thing is, I also picked up the Starman: Sons of the Father trade, which is everything DC Countdown (or most books published by DC) hopes to have become - an inteligent use of continuity, making it part of a grander tapestry. Instead, it's like going to a buffet and focusing on desserts rather than meat and vegetables.

(And for those of you who downloaded the book illegally - don't you even dare make comment. I'm tempted to even demand you send me a dollar - if everyone else has to suffer economically, so should you, and no matter what holier-than-thou attitude you demonstrate, you're still pirates).

The really sad thing - DC is now offering a second publishing at $1.99

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

But there is hope - check out the House of the Ded Contest, where you can win a copy of Bluesman, Book 1. All it takes is a simple e-mail. Thank God that, now, I know which books to read and put back on the shelf, and which books I should buy and enjoy.

Living With This Bozo

Finally, now that Gordon's left for work (don't believe his social service crap - he's a mouth breathin' wannabe who works for a comic store), I can tell you the real truth about him.

My name's Dax, and quite frankly - this man is a liar. A stinky-poopy liar.

First, the dude can barely take care of himself, much less a gorgeous cat like me. I mean, my litter hasn't been scooped since the Clinton administration. And he's never been with a woman, unless you count him pining for some tv chick in gray make-up.

Plus, the dude...how do I say this...his idea of "quality time" is trying to put a red cape on me and call me "Streaky". However, I will blackmail him with this link. Yeah, explain yourself out of that one, slider breath.

Still, I have to say, I love reading his Bloom County collections, especially those featuring Bill the Cat. If I weren't neutered, I'd have Bill's kittens.

Feel free to leave comments, especially since I wanna see the shock on his face. Happy, happy, joy, joy!