May 31, 2005

Memorial Day Lessons

You know, this past weekend was a mixture of rest, relaxation, finishing some outside-of-the-office work, and job searching. However, there were a few lessons that I learned this weekend, and as a public service, I'm sharing them with you:
  • No matter how much CSI I watch, there is no chance I will master the science behind crime scene investigations...although I would dig the chance to pursue a career in forensic psychology.

  • Is there ever such a thing as too much sleep? I doubt it.

  • Recent experiences have me convinced that these Replacements lyrics are more true than I would expect:
    The ones who love us best are the ones we'll lay to rest
    And visit their graves on holidays at best
    The ones who love us least are the ones we'll die to please
  • Getting my geek on: even though it's clunky and old-fashioned, Calypso is the best e-mail client I can use. Although I use Thunderbird for other accounts, it keeps crashing on me.

  • Thanks to Boing Boing, we now know what William Shatner smells like.

  • Speaking of James Spader, one movie that has entered my "overrated" list is 2002's Secretary. Although the director wanted this to be My Beautiful Launderette for sadomasochism, the only way that would happen is if Launderette starred Buddy Cole, Blaine Edwards, and Antoine Merriweather. (If I were into sadomasochism, I would be insulted by Secretary). Trust me, if you haven't seen this movie, don't. You'll thank me for it later
Just a note for my fellow Mixed Bag participants - I'll start burning CDs and mailing this week, and if you're lucky, you may get a really special bonus track. Plus, I'll try to post the track list some time this week (although it will be included with the disc)

May 27, 2005

Top 10 Reasons Why Thanagar Will Prevail

OK, this whole Rann/Thanagar thing is out of proportion - however, looking at the facts logically, the only rational conclusion is that Thanagar will prevail. Want reasons? (Some of these have been posted elsewhere)


  1. The Comic Treadmill's damning evidence
  2. "Rann" is Thanagarian for "pathetic, cowardly surrender monkeys"
  3. Ultimate Captain America's infamous "What do you think the A stands for - Rann?" quote
  4. Hawkman was a Super Friend - Adam Strange? Below even Hanna-Barbera's then low standards.
  5. Even when they lose, Thanagarians party hard. (And can you name the last time Thanagar lost? Didn't think so).
  6. Hawkman has had many cool helmets and cowls. Adam Strange - two.
  7. Any moron with a ray gun can do damage, but for all-out devastation, it takes skill to use a mace.
  8. Hawkman was a member of both the JLA and JSA; Adam Strange "helped" the JSA "on occasion". Sounds like one of these guys is a little commitment-phobic.
  9. Thanagar has the hottest babes, er, I mean, "most attractive women" in the galaxy. (And Katar Hol is definitely hunkier than Adam Strange, even for an archeologist)
  10. Zeta beams are for wussies - real men wear nth metal.
So there you have it. For those Rann sympathizers, don't worry - when the dust settles, you will simply look back and laugh.

May 25, 2005

Short Takes

Just a few random items of interest, just to get them out of my head and onto the blogosphere:
  • Working on the old Mixed Bag CD - I'll probably get them out close to the end of the deadline (around June 10th). One of the songs has a few R-rated words, otherwise it's going to be relatively PG rated, so be sure to warn the young 'uns.
  • The only movie that was more lame than Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy was Anchorman: Wake Up Ron Burgundy, made from the outtakes of the first film. (Yes, the first movie had its moments, but nothing major, unless you count, "Scotchy, scotchy, scotch" from the beginning of the movie)
  • Rann has 20,000 words for "surrender" in its language.
  • I was going to respond to this item, but how do I surpass Dorian's response? (And I'm being sincere. Honestly).
  • Nothing is flat-out creepier than one of your bosses asking you about your job search.
  • Thanks to the Lord of Nuance, I'm doing Beat Fest Sunday night - good for me!
Until next time, kids - enjoy!

May 23, 2005

Them's Fightin' Words, Bub

The gauntlet has been laid down...and trust me, I'm up to the task.

(At some point, I'll post the track list online, so all of you who are not participating can just say "ooh" and "ahh")

May 22, 2005

How Democracy Ends

I have to admit, I am a Star Wars geek - saw the first movie when it originally came out, have seen it about 200 - 300 times. My godson Logan's father - big Star Wars geek. (He also could hurt me, so I don't mess with him). It's not just a casual thing, but it's also not the sheer obnoxious obsession that would, say, drive us to hang out with the Aint-It-Cool crowd. Yesterday, after working that morning, I decided to head on down and catch Revenge of the Sith.

To put it in perspective - I would much rather this movie be the end of the saga than Return of the Jedi. It's a satisfying, excellent conclusion that, hopefully, will let George Lucas move on and make other movies.

Unlike other bloggers, I don't think a fifth Star Wars sequel is a sign of creative bankruptcy - my only complaint was that, in twenty years, Lucas could have written a strong part 1 and a stronger part 2 (and that Attack of the Clones should have been part one). Part 3 had several goals - to serve as a link between trilogies, to set up the original film, and to show how "a democracy becomes an empire."

The movie swings between dogfights, both in space and in the political arena. Although the shift seems a little sudden, the whole "manipulator behind the scenes" motif seems a lot more realistic than, say, a guy shooting an alien as the beginning of an empire. As the tone becomes darker in the third act, we are not suprised - even though we know the Empire is the result, we sit powerless as things begin to disintegrate.

However, we see this through the eyes of various characters, both major and minor. This is a story less about the fall of democracy and more about individual corruption - how one person can manipulate a situation creating a shift of alliances, making good look like evil, and turning friends into enemies.

In other words, it sounds like my soon-to-be former employer. (Just kidding...or am I? I am. Really.)

Be sure to thank Mr. Lucas for paying for Hayden Christopher's acting lessons - he comes off a lot less wooden, the burdens of years of Jedi training, being denied his wishes, being involved in a secret marriage...the last half hour is his tour de force. (Kudos also to Ewan McGregor, who effortlessly channels Sir Alec Guiness and whose grief at the end is palpable). In fact, the only person who disappoints is Natalie Portman...but given the material she has to handle, it's understandable. (Lucas seems better able to write space battles than personal moments). Ian McDarmid is the star of the movie, slowly peeling back layers of darkness before our very eyes.

And luckily, only five minutes of Jar Jar, and he doesn't speak.

Dudes, you have got to see this movie. Honestly.

May 18, 2005

Turn and Face The Strange

If there's a cross, then bear it, if there's a loss, then share it
If it's a risk let's dare it, if it's blindness, outstare it

- Graham Parker, "Endless Night
First, a fond RIP to Frank Gorshin - tributes are popping up everywhere, but here are the coolest by far. Yes, everyone sites the Joker, but for my money, Gorshin made the Riddler with his eerie laugh, his manic intensity...and this was after an impressive career as an impressionist. He'll be missed.

Anyway, this seems to be a week of transitions - this is going to come as a shock for readers, but this past Monday, I gave notice at my job. As of June 17th, I will no longer be drug and alcohol guy. (And in all fairness, I have had my resume out there for awhile). Of course, it didn't help that my car died the same day. (Luckily, I had it towed to a repair shop, and was able to rent a very large white pick-up truck. Just a note - never, ever put this album in the CD player. It's one of my favorite albums, but the dichotomy is jarring).

Several of my close and personals know the full scoop (if you don't, drop me a line). Given that I've achieved every professional goal that I have had since college in the past 10 years, it's time for me to branch out - have my life as open as Peter Sellers' personality. (Maybe that's why The Life and Death of Peter Sellers has been playing nonstop on my DVD player, and why you should spend your lunch money getting this DVD).

Anyway, every kind of alternative is there for me - from non-profit work to the glamorous, exciting world of comics retail. (Dorian, Mike, please don't roll your eyes. It's distracting. Honestly). It's a little intimidating, a little awe-inspiring, and a little risky.

I don't know if I would have it any other way.

May 16, 2005

Happy Blogday to Me!



Hard to believe that one year ago today, this blog was
up and running
. Huzzah! Please feel free to leave congratulations/
well wishes/credit card numbers in the comments section.

(Also, click on the picture above for its home site -
it's also from one of the greatest cartoons ever made,
IMNSHO)

May 14, 2005

Trekkin' Out

Well, it's over - Enterprise aired its final two episodes last night, and all in all, a completely mixed bag.

"Terra Prime", if anything, served as a right and final ending for the series, even if it hit all the cliche notes. (The "you-are-a-hypocrite" gambit, the "traitor-within" gambit). However, there is a speech at the end by Archer that sums it all up - that is probably the single best bit of writing not only on Enterprise...but in all of Star Trek.

Then, of course, "These Are the Voyages", which might have made an incredibly mediocre Next Generation episode, but did a complete disservice to Enterprise. To Mr. Berman and Braga, just a note - having three starships Enterprise fly by at the end, with the opening narration from the original series spoken by three "captains" (including Archer) - although a cool idea - does not constitute a "valentine to the fans." Please don't let the door hit you on the way out.

But anyway, onto another matter - as you may be aware, sides are being taken in the Rann Vs. Thanagar war. Count me in on the Thanagar side, because if you compare:
Thanagar - big, beefy guys with Nth-metal wings, carrying maces, flying starships, basically conquering anything that gets in their way. Khunds wish they were Thanagarians.

Rann - skinny, wussy guys with goofy glasses, with ray guns, jet packs, and use "Zeta beams" to get around. Their biggest challenge is flying magnifying glasses, and are likely to drink white whine spritzer, listen to Yanni, and make Coluans seem, well, formidable.
Smart money's on Thanagar.

May 10, 2005

Cruisin' the Blogosphere

Well, kids, it's back to work for me - I'm scheduled up the wazoo (and boy, we all know how painful that is. Instead of taking on a non-issue like, say, the new DC logo, I've decided to perform a little cut-and-paste. Think of it as a blog version of Chris Brown's Mixed Bag (and I'll have to keep an eye out for the next time it's done).

First, Laura at Bloggity-Blog-Blog is participating in a breast cancer walk, and she needs your help. Plus, you can also enter a drawing - for more information, click here. It's a worthy cause and you can win stuff. How cool is that?

Thanks to everyone's favorite green-skinned superhero blogger, here's a great way to kill time at work. And it's so cute as well.

In light of recent comic events, well....personally, I think the whole "comic-character-as-blogger" trend is starting to wear a little. Thankfully, however, you now have the Snark Free Happy Fun Blog, as well as two opportunities to expand your horizions.

Believe the hype - Jamie Foxx earned his Oscar for Ray. I also suggest watching the expanded version, but avoid the commentary, which consists of Taylor Hackford calling everyone involved "excellent" and "awesome" for two and a half hours.

Finally, in light of this news - if anyone involved wants me to consult, please feel free to contact me. I don't mind taking professional trips to Chi-town, especially if it means more time with the godson.

May 8, 2005

Monday's Comin' Like A Jail on Wheels

Today, alas, is the last day of my vacation - tomorrow, I get to go back to the office, catch up on paperwork, and head into a busy, busy week. However, there are some valuable lessons which I learned in the past few weeks, and which I would like to share with you, dear readers:
  • My mojo is fully functional, thank you very much - now, all I need to do is be able to work it with women of my choosing, and who are available (marital status and otherwise).
  • Thanks to Free Comics Day, I am sampling some alternative fare, and just purchased Invincible # 0. If you missed out, here are two opportunities to get into the groove!
  • Yesterday, also received two "bags of fun" for "weekend plans". At least, that's what the agency told me. Again, if my mojo worked in the right time and place....
  • Book recommendations: if you can, check out The Cheating Culture, as well as The Immortals. As for me, my next must-reads are Fortress of Solitude (since the author's reviving Omega the Unknown for Marvel) and Lost in a Good Book (which, if it's like Fforde's first book, treats English literature with Geoff Johns' fanboy continuity mentality and Douglas Adams' humor and whimsy).
  • I got to see both Svengoolie and Bill Jackson (aka "BJ"), in the same week. For a Chicago television fanboy, that's pretty darn close to nirvana.
  • After watching Kill Bill Vols 1 and 2 back-to-back, I have to say...they both hang well together, but Tarantino was smart to release them as separate movies. Plus, Volume one includes the Green Hornet theme - awesome!
  • Blogs are fun reading - thanks to Zombie Killer for one recommendation, and for several others for the other.
  • David Lynch is capable of making a straightforward, normal, G-rated movie that isn't cloying and that respects your intelligence - here's proof.
Until next time, remember - always appreciate what you have when you have it, because you might not have it anymore.

And don't forget to floss.

May 3, 2005

Pop Culture Wrap-Up

Great thing about vacations - if you're smart, you plan at least one day to recover from a trip. I'm still basking in great memories from my high school reunion, and other than a trip for the necessities (comics and groceries), I spent today just zoning/zonking out. So, in that spirit, here are some short-takes.

Just Begging to Be Adapted into A Graphic Novel - The Immortals by James Gunn. A cliche idea done right, vast in scope....Chaykin, Heath, you know you want to do this one.

Sad St. Louis High School Trivia Nugget - I learned from an alumnus that I attend the same high school as this gentleman. (Of course, Bob Newhart also went to my high school) St Louis pals, snark away!

New Guilty Pleasure - Family Business, Showtime's reality show focusing on the porn industry. Cousin Stevie rocks!

Proof Childhood Eventually Ends - Yesterday was newscaster Joel Daly's last day with Channel 7 News. A true Chicago original.

Most Painful Show to Watch - Penn & Teller's third season debut, focusing on circumcision. No, it wasn't painful because it was inaccurate.

Show in Dire Need of a Geoff Johns Rewrite - "In A Mirror, Darkly, Part Two - some great ideas, but it doesn't really hang together. Also, did the Gorn really need to resemble a dinosaur?

Most Disappointing Return - Family Guy: I am a fan of the show, but this Sunday's first episode only served to meet every criticism made about it. I'll give it a chance, but maybe some shows are best left in the dust, except for Greg the Bunny

Most Disappointing Debut - American Dad: it was touted as a "political satire", but seemed more like a bad episode of Family Guy with some gratuitous politcal jokes. If this show lasts six episodes, I'll be surprised.

Show That Makes Me Want to Work on that Mystery Novel I Never Finish - Columbo: The First Season, which I gave my father as a gift. After checking out Prescription: Murder, and Murder by the Book, my mystery novel mojo is being renewed.

EDIT: Greatest Evidence of my Fanboyhood - click here.

Best Thing About May - Free Comics Day!

May 2, 2005

Hail, Ignatius

In about eight hours, I will be on a plane headed back to St. Louis - however, my mind is back at Saturday night. My twentieth high school reunion.

I had just come from my godson's birthday, filled with kids, toys, and Darth Vader cake, so I was of a mind to hang out with adults. As soon as I had arrived at the school, my heart began beating quickly - yes, it is cliche to admit, but I was anticipating catching up with old friends, seeing some former colleagues, and basically, a night out that I have needed for a long time.

The class of 1985, despite the usual high school cliquishness and divisiveness, was one of the more tightly-knit, incorigible, hard drinking classes. (I know, as a substance abuse counselor/prevention specialist, I should not glamorize underage drinking - but we loved to party. It became apparent as the evening began, with our class photo - there was no way we were going to allow some photographer to tell us what to do. Afterwards, we began doing what we were good at - basically, hanging out and talking.

If I lacked confidence before this evening, I swiftly gained it - many of my male classmates have lost hair, gained weight, and/or have had their spirits broken by life. (One arch-nemesis in particular, who was lanky and lean twenty years ago, makes me look absolutely svelte). A small number of my female classmates are still "smokin' hot", twenty years later (and if you are reading this and wonder if you're one of those "smokin' hot" women, e-mail me and I'll let you know. Honestly). Two of my best friends and I wondered where a mutual friend - Tom B - was that evening. We concluded he was either 1) playing golf and/or 2) downloading Internet porn.

Gradually, we saw the sights - went on tours of the renovated building, consumed very stiff drinks (or, as another classmate put it, "Gin and tonic must have tonic in it"). Pictures of children were exchanged, I provided clinical consultation for a friend who's now a social worker, and basically...had some deep, meaningful conversations. However, as several of my closer friends and I talked, we slowly realized that, for some of us, we never really graduated high school - some of us fell back into the same old cliques, and couldn't move out of the "hi/how are you/what's your job?" cycle.

At one point, another arch-nemesis' wife - obviously inebriated - began asking me questions about how I and her husband got along. Maybe she had a jones for me, I don't know, but began asking rather personal questions about me, and would not let me get back to the reunion. (These questions, if written, would make this blog incredibly work unsafe). However, thanks to her, I now have blackmail material....as well as tuition money for my future children.

Eventually, though, many of us made our way to a bar near Randolph and Halstead, and continued the fine tradition of partying hard. In fact, a female classmate and I - with whom I have had an extended flirtation - became very friendly with each other. She was one of those women whom I had interest in, but never pushed it. (She's also very unavailable, and I make it a point to knowingly hit on women in relationships). As the evening went on, however, sparks began flying between the two of us - touching became hugging, the verbal back-and-forth got a little hot and heavy, and, well...eventually, she made me an offer that I did not want to refuse. However, thanks to her best friend from high school (and a brief moment of sobriety), I was able to be a gentleman and politely back away. Alcohol and flirting can be a very dangerous combination. That evening, I returned to my hotel room at 2:00 am, tired, weary, but happy.

Now, I'm going back to St. Louis to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I don't know if any of my classmates are reading this, but if they are: John, I owe you a beer at Tap Room when you're in town. Joe S - let me know when you and your son are in town, and I'll work hard to get Cardinals tickets. Gail - if you ever need my clinical expertise, drop me an e-mail. Everyone else - thanks for the great time. Everyone else - great to see you, and thanks for a wonderful evening.