December 22, 2006

5 Comic-Related Things I Want For Christmas

(I am a Catholic, so I celebrate Christmas - my apologies if I am offending anyone).

Since the holidays are coming fast, here's what I would like to see, comic-wise, for the holidays.
  1. Art Lessons for Greg Land - Come on, Marvel, you have quite a bit of money. You can actually pay for Greg to either 1) learn how to draw attractive women and action poses without tracing, or 2) realize that he may not be that good of an artist, and consider other career opportunities. (Plus, if you're going to trace, Mr. Land, please don't use porn - I'm not a prude; I just prefer my comic women to be a little more three-dimensional in proportion and character). His artwork comes across as almost Drew Friedman-ish, but that would be insulting Mr. Friedman. Stop the madness, Marvel - honestly! Or fire him and give us....
  2. More NextWave - Any book that, over the course of several issues, contains references to "homicide crabs" and a grim-and-gritty Forbush Man does not deserve cancellation. It deserves time and support to grow into your biggest money maker. And if you do revive this, if Mr. Land does the art, there will be hurting involved. Serious hurting.
  3. DC Showcase & Reprints - I wan t to see the Inferior Five in a Showcase edition (yes, I know it's dated, but we need to put the "funny" back in funnybooks). I also want either a Volume 4 of the Doom Patrol DC Archives (completing the series) or a Showcase edition (Bruno Premiani's work deserves the black-and-white treatment). Plus, throw in a Sugar and Spike Collection...come on, Dan DiDio. Please don't make us beg.
  4. More Indie Recommendations - If anyone out there has good indie comic recommendations, please let me know. I need to expand my palate.
  5. No More Message Board Madness - Since the folding of Fanboy Rampage, both Mike and Dorian have been presenting excerpts to make fun of fanboys, but I think it has to stop. All we're doing is encouraging a small, vocal, obnoxious minority who couldn't even make it on Ain't It Cool News. Yes, it's easy to make fun of them, but you know what? We can do better than that. Honestly. Let's get rid of message boards...or, at the very least, allow them to work through their issues, meet appropriate dating partners, get out of the basement, and learn proper hygiene.

Well, that's all I want for Christmas...that and season 5 of Kids in the Hall on DVD.

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