Blame the metaphor on my familiarity with 12 Step recovery (I worked in the field back in my youth) - this time of year can be a bit rough for me. I usually spend some time reviewing my efforts in the past year - what's worked, what isn't working - and begin establishing my goals and plans for the coming year.
Right now, it's somewhat more difficult - part of it is that I've been finishing up some of my freelance projects (with an appropriate amount of time spent looking and applying for other sources of income); part of it is my mother's situation (she's facing some major changes - nothing too stressful, but enough to make me feel a little out of sorts), and much of it is the impending holiday.
Yet, when I look at what's happened this past year, I've actually seen the greatest amount of growth. Much of it was letting go of a major volunteer commitment I took on when I first moved to Chicago - letting go of the work and some of the drama has meant that my mind has been much more open. With two really cool opportunities I'm pursuing, I'm expanding into doing the kind of work I would like to do.
This has also been the year of Redefining Gordon - I'm taking on some new challenges, and have seen my vision - and capacity - slowly expand. Currently, I'm in the midst of a mad dash for work (part of my income fell through unexpectedly), but instead of doing the hiding-under-the-covers bit, I'm actually....asking for help.
I'm still the same person I was, just somehow....different. An unexpected turn of events.
And I continually surprise the heck out of myself.
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