Right now, I'm sitting on my mom's couch. After four months of rehab and hospitalization, she came home this past Friday. I'm sitting at my laptop, about to work on a longer-form writing project and freelance copywriting, and I have come to a decision...
...Blog THIS, Pal! is going on a short hiatus.
Much of it is simply due to time: after the events of the past few months, I need an emotional break. A major move, job issues, and family health issues are tough enough on their own: as one of my best friends pointed out, I had the Stress Trifecta. Emotionally, it's been challenging to maintain an even keel, especially in the spite of how Internet culture chooses to behave...
(...and yes, I'm taking a short break from Facebook as well. When a conversation about cultural appropriation in literature turns into "you're a segregationalist" arguments....it's time to go).
But honestly, as much as I'm grateful for the support I've received, I'm finding myself behaving in a very Kardashian-like manner. Wanting attention not because I've done something that warrants attention, but merely because I'm bored. And my friends - and blog readers - deserve better.
(Yes, I appreciate the irony of making that statement on this blog).
Much of it, though, is that I need to heal, to focus on more important matters. People may tell you that caring for an older parent is a joy and not a burden. They can say that because they're never done it. It's tiring, exhausting, and in this current funding climate...trying to find other caregivers to help will be close to impossible. (Not that we're not willing to try, and for those who suggest that I get trained as a caregiver "just in case"...I've investigated. It's not an option).
With my other projects, I also want to reestablish something of a personal life. It's not like I haven't been seen in public or have acted entirely like a hermit, but much of this process feels very isolating. It's hard to open up to people without feeling like I'll overreact or take it to the extreme. (Let's say that I wanted to ask a casual friend out for coffee...normally, if someone says no, I could accept it and move on. However, my current mood suggests that I would be motivated to research this person's address, show up in front of that person's place of residence and reenact that scene with John Cusack and the boombox from Say Anything. Only rather than Peter Gabriel, this song would be playing:
And yes, that is rather creepy, why do you ask?
Right now, I need to adjust a new lifestyle. I have a novel to write, several pieces to write (including some long-due posts for I Hear of Sherlock), and regain some sense of emotional equilibrium. So for now, I'm taking a break from the blog (and after some work for the Chicago Doctor Who Meetup, a much shorter break from Facebook)
Obviously, I'm not giving up on the blog - I have over twelve years' work invested in this. But for right now, I need to focus on other things, and I'm hoping that at some point, it will feel less like I was missed and more like, "Why the heck are you back?"
And I'm always available by e-mail. Talk to you later.
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