March 12, 2007

A Modest Proposal

It is an issue that is tearing people apart. Dividing friend against friend, blogger against blogger, it is an issue that asks us - nay, demands of us - that we choose which side we are on. It threatens to crack the Internet in half.

I'm talking, of course, about the David Campbell/Chris Sims feud.

Both bloggers share a love of good, old fashioned comic goodness, complete with "F*** Yeah!" moments, random panels, bear wrestling, dog punching, and a great sense of humor. However, these two gentlemen are beginning to snipe at each other, and are engaging in a back and forth. Bloggers are being asked to determine who is the more "kewl" of the two bloggers.

My proposal - Dave and Chris join up Marvel-style and fight a common foe.

That's right - both of them need an archenemy. Someone worthy of being in conflict with them. A blogger whose very existence threatens all that we hold dear, and against who Dave and Chris have a fighting chance.

But who? Other than an abnormal love for Swamp Thing, Mike Sterling's harmless. Dorian and Kevin both possess wits capable of melting steel at 300 feet. Which comics blogger deserves to be a worthy adversary of Chris and Dave?

Me.

That's right - I'm full of myself, have a slightly snarky sense of humor, rarely (if ever) proofread my posts, and come up with boring, pretentious lists! Plus, I am volunteering to be your enemy.

I mean, Dave, marching in your plaid shirt and posting about allegedly "bad ass" soap opera stars just makes you look like a wuss. And Chris, I bought you a puppy, but I got hungry, and I ate it.

(See, I eat puppies! How evil is that?)

Plus, you can organize the rest of the blogosphere into fighting me. Maybe have Redhead Fangirl do Oracle-kinda stuff. Scott can provide medical services...or at least, free samples of vicodin, or something.

But Gordon, you're asking yourselves, Is this another of your caffeine-fueled manic episodes?.

Maybe, but here's a thought - if you're uncomfortable with me, I'm more than willing to help you find some blogger to become your nemesis. The blogosphere's full of self-important, pompous blowhards who have a slight contempt for their audience.

Again, takes one to know one in my case, if you get the picture.

Anyway, the two of you think about it - you two shouldn't be fighting each other. Much like Power Man and Iron Fist, or Power Girl and Huntress, you two should be a lean, mean, blogging machine. Join forces. The net needs you.

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