January 17, 2012

Five Reasons Why Fezzes Are NOT Cool

You know, there are probably greater issues to blog about, but I would like to spend some time on something which may seem minor....but is becoming increasingly grating to me.

It's the proliferation of fezzes amongst newer Doctor Who fans.

Yes, I get it - it's a way to celebrate a show. But it's a dead horse that is being beaten to a bloody pulp. (Which, not coincidentally, will be the new name of this blog in March). So anyway, let me just dive on in and give you my five reasons why fezzes are not cool....and have never been cool outside of BogartLaurel & Hardy, and Marx Brothers films.

  1. It Takes A Perfectly Good Moment and Turns It Into A Lame Catchphrase - The whole point of the fez in The Big Bang/The Pandorica Opens is that it allows us to tell apart one character from two different timelines. Plus, it gets shot at the end. However, thanks to well-meaning yet obnoxious fans, fezzes have jumped the shark, and this has now become as ubiquitous - and annoying - in Who circles as "Where's the beef?" was in the 1980s.
  2. It Only Shows That You're A Newb - Once, on Satan's favorite social media network (also known as Facebook), after criticizing someone for suggesting a fez, they asked, "But isn't that what the Doctor says?" My response - which was shorter and pithier than this - is "With a show with almost 50 years of history, all you can suggest is a fez? Not a long scarf/ Or even a velvet smoking jacket?" Quite honestly, it brings out the worst in old school fandom, especially in people like me. :)
  3. You're Demonstrating a Total Lack of Understanding of the Show - For me, it's one of those "you-went-there-didn't-you" moments. I have the same reaction when I hear people praise Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes, because it means that they're more willing to accept anything than dive into a phenomenon. In short, the adventures of a steampunk-y superdetective - or a fez-wearing time traveller - might be excellent. Just don't call them "Sherlock Holmes" or "Doctor Who". (And let me remind you - I not only write for a blog of serious Holmes devotees, I've been a Who fan most of my life. That qualifies me to make statements like, "Morton Downey Jr. would make a better Sherlock Holmes". 
  4. Fezzes - no matter what the context - just look dumb: Just check out the photo on this blog. Even on semi-cute Pikachu, fezzes are just lame.
  5. Headgear should never be a barometer for how something cool is - Just ask Jack Klugman. He's cool without needing fancy headgear. 

Thanks again for giving me the opportunity to rant...and to promote the upcoming Chicks Dig Time Lords event on February 28th in Arlington Heights. To RSVP, just visit http://bit.ly/ChicksDigTL

And until next time....please don't even think about getting me started on bow ties. Seriously.

No comments: