Today's Nightmare Fuel

I am confident that someone, somewhere, is writing fan fiction based solely on this screencap:

(From the series premiere of Law & Order UK. Yes, I know it has nothing to do with Doctor Who, but I'm always willing to make a cheap joke at the expense of fanfic writers)

The Ballad of Bobby Goren: LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT

"In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories."

(Updated July 12, 2019)

I've always felt that the Law & Order franchise was the television equivalent of comfort food - it might not be the most intricate cuisine, but when done right, just feels good to watch. And of all of the franchise, my favorite is Law & Order: Criminal Intent, which had its series finale televised last night.

It was never the favorite child of the franchise - Law & Order: SVU seemed to get that title, more out of the prurient nature of its storylines than anything else - but Criminal Intent had several things which - in my opinion - made it an incredibly strong show in its prime, but which had a seemingly fatal misstep.

First, there's the quality of the writing - unlike the main franchise, or even SVU, Criminal Intent seemed to have more of a psychological edge, often wavering between howdunit and whodunit as character study. It helped to have two strong actors like Vincent D'Onofrio (who I want to play me in the inevitable big-screen biography of my life) and Kathyrn Erbe,who were able to create a seemingly realistic chemistry and who consistently delivered when onscreen.

What made Criminal Intent work for me was that, much like classic Law & Order, there was a greater emphasis on character. Recently, I've been watching reruns of the latter through Netflix, and there's a great joy in watching the world-weary Lennie Briscoe made mordant remarks, or the way that an unquenchable thirst for justice would surge in Jack McCoy's body. Bobby Goren was a man of many demons. but for whom the puzzle was paramount. Very few people could understand Goren, but those who did - like his partner Eames - were able to get it. (And which is why Law & Order: Los Angeles is a relative failure - viewers like me don't really care for the guess-which-headline-determined-this-plot-writing, we care about having good characters, and with the possible exception of Alfred Molina, every character seemed a cipher, pretty much plugged in, saying their lines, and moving on.)

Thanks to various factors, for one year, the lead was co-held - and then held - by Jeff Goldblum, who quit when the show seemed in the most danger. This was - in my view - a misstep. Granted, health reasons forced D'Onofrio to split the season, and it worked with Chris Noth as Mike Logan. Logan's hot-headed, go-for-the-throat style was a great contrast with Goren, especially when Logan found himself having to "play the diplomat". Goldblum's character was way too cerebral (and as a psychologically-oriented guy myself, that's telling) - his performance seemed too detached, and there was nothing to really grasp.

By the way, Jeff, Nicholas Cage called - he wants his questionable choice in acting roles back.

I know, I'm being a little too snide, but Criminal Intent just ended its run on the USA Network, and is being shown in reruns on NBC. We see, in these eight episodes, Goren struggling through some of his issues in order to keep his job. I won't spoil the finale except to say - it's really not set up as a series finale.

Hopefully, some of you will agree and take action, because I, for one, would love to see a series 11.

Thankfully, I'm not alone.

(Note - Ion Television reruns Law & Order: Criminal Intent throughout the summer. You can also find it in select local markets)

Lee Adama & Martha Jones - Crimebusters!

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the Crown prosecutors, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

Franchises are often very fragile things - do it right, and you end up with much more than you bargained for. Battlestar Galactica worked because it stripped away the 70s cheesiness for early millennial angst. Doctor Who adopted the best of what went past and revamped it. So I was eager to see how one of my favorite franchises, Law & Order, would fare in a British translation.

Having just seen two episodes from Law & Order UK, I have to say that I'm....disappointed.

With the expectation that the show would take on a British view, I expected it to be not very different, but with a much more jaundiced view. My knowledge of the way British courts work is limited - I think it is more about finding the truth than an adversarial system like the US. In many ways, the show take some elements from its American cousin (the opening narration, the familiar shtunk-shtunk transition chime), and develops others (different theme music, title credits, etc).

Storywise, L&O UK's biggest drawback is that it is extremely dependent on the franchise's current formula. Rather than develop individual and unique scripts, this pair of episodes are adaptations from the American series....which makes it almost like the American series was done with funny accents. Granted, the second episode - which deals with a young boy beaten to death by a peer - does slightly extend into new territory (the characters differentiate themselves enough to make it a slightly edgier show), there seems to be too strong an adherence to the work of Dick Wolf.

But in all honesty, it's the acting that really stands out, and two actors from (ironically) other franchises really stand out. Maybe it's because he's in his native country and keeps his native accent, but you can see the enthusiasm that Jamie Bamber brings to the role of Matt Devlin. (Especially compared to Bradley Walsh, who does his best to channel his inner Lenny Briscoe). I won't say that he may be happy to be off Galactica, but there does seem to be a greater sense of centeredness in his acting....maybe because he doesn't have to seem so gosh-darn earnest.
And Freema Agyeman does her best as Ayesha Phillips, the "assistant" to James Steel (Ben Daniels) in the Crown Prosecution Service. Here's where the series tends to diverge somewhat from its American cousin - in the second episode, Steel & Phillips' boss refers to the former doing the "headboard shuffle" with a defense attorney in the past. There's a greater edge to the ethical debates, maybe because they're not "torn from the headlines" in England. There's even a friendliness between the CPS and the police...something which doesn't play out in its American cousin.

However, the blame for the weakness of the stories is the fault of showrunner Chris Chibnall. Given the relative strength of his writing for Torchwood, it's surprising that these scripts are just...well, there. They seem to be more straightforward adaptations of American scripts than an attempt to adapt a successful format into another culture.

Maybe to the British watching ITV, this is a relatively new phenomenon - the show seems to be successful. However, although there may be plans to bring the show to the US....it's probably worth missing, unless you're like me and Warren Frey, and you find the thought of Freema in a barrister's uniform extremely attractive.