April 1, 2006

Special Announcement

Everyone,

I don't know if you caught this, but the President just announced that he is cancelling Daylight Savings Time.

In his address to the nation, President Bush announced, "We have to defend freedom, and to bring a Higher Power to those who lack it. We, in our arrogance, dare to defy divine will by setting our clocks ahead and back, thinking that we are manipulating the space time continuum by doing so. However, taking the initiative, this great nation will begin to fight the tyranny of time manipulation by canceling Daylight Savings Time. We hope that our international brethren will join suit, and move us toward a common goal - building a better, stronger America. Anyone caught setting their clocks ahead one hour beginning April 1, 2006, will be shot on sight. Since 1991, we have placed a special chip in timekeeping devices, and we will be aware when you set your clocks ahead. Besides, the great strength of our nation is when common people join together and work towards conforming to our nation's standards. We encourage everyone to join with us in this great endeavor - to handle time ourselves, rather than conform to some outrageous deception due to moving clock hands."


Please feel free to discuss in the comments.

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