Emotions Are Tricky, Aren't They?

It's been over six months since the move, and quite honestly...feeling OK with the status quo feels like a pipe dream. Granted, living in the dumpster fire/train wreck mashup that we call "the Trump Presidency" can be challenging...but for me, everything has felt like bad fan fiction. I've been trying my best to keep relatively sane in the midst of everything.  Especially since the past few months have meant dealing with some tricky emotions...and backing away from certain commitments

One of those commitments was the Chicago TARDIS charity auction. Yes, it went well this year (raising over $1,781 for Northern Illinois Food Bank), so I'm not feeling a sense of failure or that my performance was "less than" expected. However, I did have to wonder if maybe it was time for me to let go and allow someone else to take reins. After all, I'm a firm believer that it's always better to leave a position and wonder what might have happened if I had stayed rather than stay and be unhappy.

Job-wise...I have freelance work. I'm also trying to get freelance and full-time work, but given the relative ease with which potential employers "pass" on hiring me...unfortunately, too many employers feel it ok to lie about contacting references (yes, that happened) or simply pass without explanation. (And yes, I'm still plugging away). Worse are colleagues and "friends" who either tell you that 1) you're not working hard enough on the "hustle" or 2) worse, you're simply not "earning your keep".

Or as I like to call them, "Trump supporters".

But one pleasing - and yet tricky - part of dealing with emotions is dealing with friends. I've always tended to isolate myself (or enter "Johnny Cash" mode), but I've welcomed the opportunity to grow closer, to put myself out there. But it comes at some cost...without going into details (out of respect for the other person involved), I am dealing with a potentially delicate situation with a particular friend.

Do I want to discuss this situation with this person? Yes, I do.

Is that necessarily a smart, well-informed strategy? No, it's not.

But I'm handling things as effectively as possible...and yes, that's much of the reason why this blog has been relatively inactive. (In the next few weeks, I am planning to develop an editorial calendar for my blogs - at the very least, I can schedule my creative and fiction writing into one central resource). But right now, my focus has been split in different directions...

...and emotionally, I need to focus. Which means letting go of some things and working hard towards others.