And Hembeck is His Name-O

Happy Birthday, Fred Hembeck!



(What, you expected a blog about my first day at work? Shame on you....)

EDIT: James guilted me into posting a picture. Please visit his blog as I hang my head in shame.

Kobayashi Maru

First, a very happy pre-birthday to Fred Hembeck, who - like Jack Benny - celebrates his 39th birthday every year. On January 30th, please send him a nice note and/or post a tribute on your blog. I'm sure Fred would appreciate it.

But enough of that - I was reviewing some scribbles in my Moleskine, and realized that I had wanted to follow up on one of my biggest "gotta blog this" notes. So consider this a post that mixes my usual strengths - a love of pop culture and strong personal observation.

I've admitted my love for Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (and taken a good natured ribbing from Logan), but for various reasons. In high school, it was because it was new Trek, and it was two hours of starships blasting each other. However, in recent times, it's because of one key concept, one plot device that it introduced.

The Kobayashi Maru.

It's considered a test of character - how someone faces a no-win situation. Do you lose with grace, or do you run like a coward? How do you face complete and utter failure - with confidence, or with fear? (It's also considered a good test of lateral thinking - how creative can you be in a tough situation). Of course, we all know how James Kirk handled it - he changed the conditions of the test.

No, he didn't cheat - he "changed the conditions of the test." It's only been recently that I've realized what this means. The past six months have been my own Kobayashi Maru - leaving a job that I was unhappy with for various reasons, and having faith that things would work out. (It was also made clear that I was not the favorite...but enough on-line bashing. Will tell details privately). Granted, it got scary for awhile (and the first few months are going to be tough) but I realized that Kirk changed the scenario from a no-win to a win-win...because there is no such thing as a no-win situation. He assessed the situation, and found new options for action.

In short, the Kobayashi Maru is a metaphor for life...clever, ain't it?

And now, because I always opt for the cheap laugh...always remember:

More Wildcat Facts

Because you can't get enough of the man in the kitty suit - more facts about everyone's favorite Golden Age tough guy. Even though we all agree that Wildcat is love, it's time to learn more about the object of our affection. He's large, he's tough, he boxes, and here's the kind of facts about this kind of guy that you just have to spread on the Internet.

• Dr. Mid-Nite's main source of income? Treating Wildcat's opponents – very lucrative business. And business is good. Very good.
  
• Two words of advice to follow when you're hit by Wildcat: Stay Down.
• Wildcat loves Black Canary like a daughter. This explains Green Arrow's authority issues.
• Isaac Mizrahi. Bill O'Reilly. Wildcat doesn't like you. He wants to introduce you two fine gentlemen to Senor Lefty & Senor Righty. You both have been warned.
• On the 8th day, God created Wildcat and said, “Phew, even I can't surpass that, and I'm omnipotent.”
• Wildcat was once abducted by aliens, who then proceeded to clone him. Although the clones were OK, they were nowhere near Grant's perfection, and were later relocated to a planet called “Thanagar”.
• Before Identity Crisis, a “mind wipe” usually meant, “Wildcat's bolo punch”
• The Cat-Cycle? Harley. What else?
• Once scared the bejeezus out of Vandal Savage by proclaiming, "I floss chunks of fools like you out of my teeth every night."
• Wildcat – the only man to escape the Manhunters.
• Never, ever put ketchup on a hot dog around Wildcat. Just ask Johnny Thunder.
• Wildcat's punches can shatter adamantium.
• On Rann, Wildcat is known as “He We Shouldn't Make Angry Because He Can Hurt Us and We Bruise Easily, and So We Should Just Call Him Sir and Make Sure He Has Plenty of Chocolate Milk”
• Wildcat's nickname for Chuck Norris? “Mr. Brown Pants Girly Man”
• The real reason Krypton exploded: Jor-El attempted to harness the energy from Wildcat's uppercut.
• Terry Sloane was originally going to call himself "Mr. Perfection", but once he met Wildcat...he realized he was only "Terrific" because Wildcat is perfection.

(And by the way, if you love this idea, and don't want to get involved in the other comics-blogging-meme-sensation, please feel free to link to this post. However, don't pass it off as your own (as has happened to other, better bloggers) because Wildcat will whomp you if you do). In Wildcat's eyes, that's cheating, and cheating is an academic crime.

Apologies in Advance

...but I can't stop it. It's a fun, easy meme!

Always remember....





P.S. I'd love to see these as trading cards - is that so wrong?

Breaking News

Just received word - hired for a new job. Begin Monday.
Details to follow.

Please leave praise, insults, and general good wishes in
the comments.

DETAILS: Well, folks, I'm now a project director for an EPA-
funded project in St. Louis. The pay's good (better than the last
place), I don't have as much travel, and I get to help make
sure the project's on track.

It's not going to be easy, nor will it be a piece of cake...but had
I known back then what would have happened, I still
would have moved forward.

Plus, I'm housed in a restored Victorian house in north
St. Louis. I can pretend I'm Batman!

Another Music From A Different Kitchen

First, please welcome Invincible Superblog and Stop the World to the blogroll - can't say if either one is "work safe", but if you're worried about work safety...maybe you shouldn't be reading blogs on the job. Just a thought.

Also, take a gander beneath my picture - for the next two weeks, I'm taking a reader survey. Trust me, it's more fun that modifying pictures of comic characters.

Tonight's blog is brought to you by the St. Louis Public Library...

Outfoxed - this is the film Michael Moore should have made. Easily hangs the Fox News Network by its own petard, and doesn't have the hit-you-over-the-head-until-you-get-a-bad-nosebleed feeling that Mr. Moore's work has. In fact, they even have a blog of their own. Given that the president's losing his popularity, it's important to watch now more than ever. Highly recommended.

WE3 - You know, only Grant Morrison could combine way-out science fiction, realistic gore, and some total heartwarming moments. This is an excellent collection - you gotta have this on your bookshelf, dude. Highly recommended.

The Jack Paar Collection - As Roger pointed out, Jack Paar shared many qualities with Johnny Carson...but is a relatively unknown figure. This three-disc set gives a taste of what Mr. Paar pioneered - using television as a way of relating to other people. (Saying he invented "talk shows" only gives a small picture). However, given the quality of the source material, my suggestion is to rent through Netflix - it might not be to everyone's tastes.

Ultra: Seven Days - If I had a girlfriend, I might feel more guilty about enjoying this book. It's not just that it features women - it's an intelligent, sharp look at celebrity, relationships, and other matters through the filter of superheroes. It's enough to make me begin buying the series. Definitely recommended.

One Night At McCool's - Although it's a pleasant enough film, this movie exists for only two purposes:

1. To objectify Liv Tyler, and put her in provocative poses; and
2. To show this person get seriously injured - twice - in the same movie.

Nickel & Dimed - Normally, I'm not a fan of books like these - the author goes undercover to discover what it's like to be one of the "working poor." She gets to return to her relative affluence, whereas those who have to live paycheck-to-paycheck don't have the luxury. However, this has some excellent insights (and Wal-Mart comes out especially scummy), but at the very least, it led me to begin reading her follow-up.

And until next time, readers, always remember....

Kickin' It Old School

Spent the past 36-some hours in a haze: received some very not-so-good personal news. Will blog more about it later - I just don't want to get into a major bummer mode on this blog. Taking a page from Greg, here's a ton of links for your browsin' enjoyment.

And you know, when you read stuff like this, are you surprised that comics fans have such a reputation? (So much that they forget that this post consits of lines that don't work).

On the open source tip, been using FoxIt Reader (instead of bloated Adobe) and found some templates for Open Office - if anyone has a recommendation for an address book program that prints out planner-sized pages, please let me know.

Gee, George, are you hurting for work that much?

One site features classic pulp fiction; the other newer pulp fiction. Remember the difference.
(And two pulp fanzines need your support, right now!)

Gmail now has a very important new feature...and I don't mean the ability to read dots.

The Red Haired Librarian is starting the Comics Blog Legion, flight ring and clever nickname sold separately.

All I gotta say to Homercat is.....right on, bro. (One note - song links may not work)

Dorian, just know....I think the dead horse is now a bloody pulp.

Want to know when it's the end? Mark brings us....the Death Clock! (And I'm March 4, 2049)

If you want to send a special someone a Sherlock Holmes greeting card, click here.

What else do Andy & I have in common? We've both met these guys.

Finally, taking a page from Yet Another Comics Blog (as well as my own blog - more Wildcat facts forthcoming), here's some trivia about me:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Gordon Dymowski!

1. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than Gordon Dymowski, and 400 times smaller!
2. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Gordon Dymowski!
3. The Eskimos have over fifty words for Gordon Dymowski.
4. Gordon Dymowski was originally called Cheerioats!
5. Gordon Dymowski is picked, sorted and packed entirely in the field.
6. It takes
   forty minutes to hard-boil Gordon Dymowski.
7. Gordon Dymowski can not regurgitate.
8. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from Gordon Dymowski.
9. All swans in England belong to Gordon Dymowski.
10. Gordon Dymowski is 984 feet tall.

I
am interested in - do tell me
aboutherhimitthem

Beating Dead Horses

Much like Greg's blog, this is where memes go to die, and I am happy to say...


And whatever else you may know (and more facts may be forthcoming) always remember...

Random Wildcat Facts

Always one to beat a dead horse - in celebration of Dorian's approval and pro-Wildcat stance, I'm taking a page from another pop culture internet phenomenon, and bringing you some random Wildcat facts. Enjoy!

(Yes, I do have a little too much free time at work - why do you ask?)

• In a fight with Wildcat, there will be only two hits - Wildcat hitting you, and you hitting the floor.
• Al Pratt was once 6'5" in height. However, he made the mistake of calling Wildcat "shorty". We all know what happened next.
• Wildcat will hit you so hard, your descendents in the Legion of Super Heroes will feel it.
• For a bet, Wildcat made the g*****n Batman soil himself. It wasn't pretty.
• Here are Wildcat's seven most favorite blogs
  
• DC has to print a retraction in its Crisis Times Five collection, because Wildcat considered it "libellous" that he lived long through magic.
• The real reason Fanboy Rampage folded? Graeme thought Wildcat was "kinda lame".
  
• Wildcat has a pretty powerful liver, and can drink 100 times his own weight in tequila. Luckily, however, he prefers beer.
• Brian Bendis once proposed a Wildcat series to DC, and Wildcat convinced him to take his ideas to Marvel and apply them to Daredevil. And by "convinced", I mean "kidney punched"
  
• Bruce Lee once challenged Wildcat to a fight during the filming of Enter the Dragon. Lee lost so badly that he ordered the film and negatives burned.
• Both Miraclo and Viagra were synthesized using Wildcat's chin stubble.
• Although they never specified where Wildcat operated, rumor has it it's St. Louis, and that if you're lucky, you can shoot some pool with Ted Grant at Fitz's on a Saturday night.
  
• Pre-Roth Van Halen wanted Wildcat to be lead singer, but he didn't think they "rocked hard enough"
• The real reason Jean Loring went nuts? Wildcat claimed that he didn't want "the world's smallest man's sloppy seconds" (Yes, I will burn in hell for that one. Yes, indeedy)
• The real reason Sandman switched costumes? One of Wildcat's practical jokes. Wildcat later told Sandman, "You really didn't think purple and gold were your colors, did you, Dodds?"
• Wildcat's favorite actor? Dennis Farina.
• Lex Luthor and Braniac once tried to kidnap Wildcat to use his chin stubble to give Luthor a head of hair. Luckily, Wildcat introduced both to "Senor Lefty" and "Senor Righty", putting an end to that nefarious plot. Plus, Wildcat's gut punching Braniac invented the Internet.
  
• Wildcat wants you to spread the word. Trust me, it won't be pretty if you don't.
  

An Immodest Proposal

Recently, James of The Comics Asylum and I had a brief discussion about a rating system for comics. Although he and I disagreed, I broke normal blogosphere etiquette, and did not leave random comments disparaging his parentage, nor did I refer to him by any insulting nicknames. However, in the spirit of true democratic debate, I wanted to offer an alternative to an industry-wide ratings system.

I think comic books should be rated by IQ points.

Now, in all fairness, Polite Scott could do a better job of explaining it, but I will link to these sites for an overall explanation of IQ. In my system, every comic begins with 100 points, automatically. However, points are added and subtracted due to various factors, and the book receives an overall grade.

Let's see how this works practically:

• If a comic features creative use of continuity, it gains 50 points; if it uses continuity only to pander to nostalgic fanboys, it loses 50 points
• If a comic features zombies, it gains 75 points; mutants, it loses 75 points. (80 if it has an X in the title)
• If a comic features a well-known franchise outside of comics (for example, Star Trek), it loses 25 points.
• If a comic features Batman as the "world's greatest detective", it gains 50 points; if it features "Batman as lonely, Travis Bickle-esque psychotic", it loses 60 points.
• Reviving old, obscure characters....no points. Nada. No gain, no loss.
  
• If a comic is written by Brian Bendis, Mark Millar, and/or John Byrne, it loses 60 points; however, if it is written by Grant Morrison, it gains 150 points
• If a comic is written by Will Pfeiffer or Fred Hembeck, it gains 500 points. Instantly. No argument. Deal.
  
• If a comic features Aquaman, it gains 150 points. If it features Wildcat, it gains 150 points. If it features Aquaman and Wildcat, it gains 500 points.
• (Yes, the above post is a blatant pander to Laura and Dorian. There. I admit it.)
• If a comic features T & A, you need to determine who the writer is - if it's Howard Chaykin, it gains 85 points; if it's Frank Miller, it loses 70 points. Anyone else, it loses 95 points

Now, who would be the determining party? One might argue "the comics industry" - however, an industry that can't even police its male members in matters of appropriate conduct towards the opposite sex shouldn't be trusted. (Don't believe me? Trust me - if I referred to a female comics blogger as "sweetcheeks", the blogosphere would hold me accountable, so much so that the Internet would crack in half, get fried in a pan, and be served on a plate with hash browns and bacon). My suggestion - the IQ Committee would consist of me, Scipio from The Absorbascon, Lyle Waggoner, and Bobo the Wonder Chimp.

Now, I would like to take this time to agree with James on one matter - that if comic companies and creators slapped their own label on a work, that's OK, because it serves as a guide and shows corporate accountability. However, trying to get an entire industry to conform to standards that would, admittedly, shift with an ever-diversifying audience...and then expect the industry to always conform, would be near impossible.

Now, I'm sure the hipper-than-thous among you would disagree, or come up with some character-defaming comments. However, let me quote the immortal Buddy Cole, who stated,

My goal is not to shock and horrify, but to tell the truth. And if that truth shocks and horrifies, well....maybe you should get out more

72 Degrees In Your Head

Before number three in our continuing series, a hearty congrats to Dave and his long box - he is the proud father of a new baby girl. In celebration, be sure to visit and wish him well. Also, here's a sample podcast from an earlier entry - something tells me I should wait and invest in, like, a microphone and formal podcasting software and stuff.

Got a call from my cousin - my mother was readmitted to the hospital for health issues. (Don't need to go into detail, but I am a worried little son). Decided that, in order to laugh a little, I would put on a movie that I hadn't seen in awhile - Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy.

On the one hand, it is the Kids in the Hall, doing what they do best - character-based sketch comedy. The premise is simple, and almost prescient: a scientist (Kevin McDonald) invents the ultimate antidepressant. After relaying the news to the head of a powerful pharmaceutical company (Mark McKinney, who does a wicked Lorne Michaels impersonation, and lays the groundwork for Dr. Evil). Eventually, the film turns satirical, as Chris Cooper (the drug's inventory) turns into a small scale celebrity, and the drug gains in popularity. Familiar characters abound in the film, and we see how Gleemonex slowly - but surely - affects those who take it.

However, the film is very spotty in places - this was not, reportedly, a happy shoot (and to be honest, the KITH had just finished taping the last of their show). In addition, we can see slight Hollywood-isms creep in, presumably Michaels' influence - a confrontation towards the end literally screams let's-hammer-the-theme-because-the-audience-won't-get-it, and the ending was lightened up. (Trust me - I've read the original script. It was much, much darker). It's easy to knock it because they didn't pull in more popular characters, but let's face it - the movie takes some comedic chances, and also shows that the KITH maybe aren't the greatest film comedians.

However, the film's theme - that happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin - is one that needs to be repeated, and one I needed to hear again.

Do yourself a favor - see Brain Candy. You'll thank me later.

Happy MLK Day

Correction - Mark Your Calendars!

Thanks to Roger (as well as Fred) for the heads-up that Mr. Hembeck's birthday is on January 30th.

So everyone, please head to my Frappr map and let me know where you are, so we can par-tay.

After that, you can check out Batgirl fan art (via Boing Boing)

Friday da 13th Post

Well, everyone, some potential good news - I'm in the running for a pretty cool job. It will mean learning to how, like, be professional....but I'm still putting out the old resumes. So until I come up with something creative and new, here's some linkage.

Laura, Brian and I all agree - this is the greatest news of the 21st century.

(Well, that and Thunderbird 1.5's release)

As you may have heard, one of Oprah's Book Club selections might have fudged the truth. To be honest, Oprah should have known better, especially since 12 Step (and other recovery programs) usually depend first and foremost on honesty.

All hail the great Hembeck - and happy (belated) birthday! (And Mr. Hembeck - I'll try to keep you updated on this blog. Honest).

Beaucoup Kevin shows us some movies!

You know, it's much easier to love than hate, you know what I'm saying?

Everyone else celebrates the Batman TV show's 40th anniversary - I give you the history of the Batmobile, maybe the coolest thing about the show.

If you want to find cool stuff, check out Lifehacker, which includes links to such things as free courses, developing one good habit per month, and various other tips and tricks.

Here's an appreciation of H.P. Lovecraft. Huzzah!

Doing his part for cultural literacy, Greg shares with his readers daily facts about events that occurred throughout history. Now, if he only featured events that happened in Marx Brothers history, then life would be complete. If you don't like history, well....cross this Rubicon, pal!

Speaking of the Marx Brothers, this site has several examples of Harpo talking. Don't you wish some comics bloggers would take the hint?

Ian wants to know what brought you back to comics.

Finally, I am seriously considering this feature for the blog - let me know how you feel in the comments.

Jury Duty

Spent most of Monday and Tuesday in jury duty - of course, I wasn't chosen, but I'm not too surprised. I think my whole rant about how the guilty should "sizzle like a cheap steak" turned off the court. However, as a special treat - you get to read my snarky responses to referral log entries! Isn't that fun?

10 things to do before your 18 - these should include getting your high school diploma and learning to spell...

will-pfeiffer blog...and telling the difference between me and Mr. Pfeiffer

batman mumble sound file - Haven't we had enough of this?

anne rice reborn blog - uh, not here. I hate Anne Rice. Read more Robert R. McCammon. You'll thank me later.

Sound clip of Rawhide's theme song - why not just buy the album?

Bloop the Green Monkey - I enjoy euphemisms, don't you?

reemergence of the gifts of the spirit 1904 - you know, I could look up directions on building an atomic bomb at the St. Louis Public Library, but it blocks this blog. What gives? Seriously.

"Lake Bell" cigarettes - for those who don't want just the "Surface" of smoking...get it? (Sorry, Roger - had to go for the joke).

moleskine tips - check out here and here. But first, be sure you actually have a Moleskine notebook.

alone a night at the opera lyrics the marx brothers - buy the movie and use the captions. What do I look like, a trancriptionist?

conan "john tesh" animal planet - You don't get of the house much, do you?

svengoolie for sale - I'll settle for Sven showing up on St. Louis television

"procrastinators anonymous" "12 step" - I think I'll check this site out later.

douglas adams "three starships" - This is what happens when you drink and Google, folks.

blog true lies strip scene - This is the number 1 search term for this blog, based on a post about a shock tactic video. Since all you goofballs are too cheap to actually, like, buy the DVD, here's the clip. I hope you're frickin' happy.

Sorry 'Bout That, Chief - unless you're one of the goofballs mentioned above. For my usual readers, I'm sorry...I had to do it. Honest.

Important Message

Just a reminder - you have one week to vote in the Comic Blogger's Poll 2005. Just read the rules and cast your ballot!

And to Tony at Mah Two Cents - please feel free to photoshop the picture from this entry, or use this other photo, in glorious black and white.

It's a fact - after this picture was taken, Mark McKinney checked out my camera and said, "Oh, a Nikon - that's a good little camera, eh?"

Licking Lobsters

God, I love the Kids in the Hall.

It's probably the most fannish I've ever been about anything - message board posts, a lame amateurish now out-of-date web site....I even lucked out and caught one of the final tapings in 1995 with a couple of online pals, including uberfan Barb Carr. Ever since that first hour-long special on HBO, I've been hooked harder than a fanboy on pre-Crisis DC Comics. Heck, I even had the chance to talk on the phone with the great Bellini (who was like Mike Sterling, only with sex appeal). Even caught their Tour of Duty appearance in St. Louis four years ago. However, I always tend to wonder - was it an age thing? Was there merit in the KITH? Or was it one of those hey-it-hits-that-closet-rebel-in-me kinds of phenomena?

However, thanks to the DVD revolution, I now own the first three seasons of KITH, and I can tell you - believe the hype. This was - and is - good stuff. Better than its contemporaries, and still fresh and exciting.

Part of the strength is that it brought together five sensibilities that normally might not seem sympatico: character-based improvisation, Jerry Lewis-esque silliness, a John Cleese-ian ability to hide severe aggression under a civilized veneer, surreal and unusual thinking, as well as a strong background in acting and...well, gay themes. Compared to the first three seasons of its major competition (sketch-wise), it is militant and revelatory, opting for intelligence over recycled cliches and soap-dropping jokes. (It also helps that KITH opted for the "no-parody" policy - it helps it avoid being overly topical, and has avoided the painful dating that ILC seems to have experienced).

It's also one of the things Lorne Michael has touched that hasn't turned to crap. Although his hand is seen very early on in the first season, by the third, we see the KITH slowly turn on their sponsor. (If Dave isn't doing a dead-on in Season Three's "Whatever", then Mark's turn in Brain Candy definitely seals the coffin). In KITH's sketches, they presented fully formed characters - in fact, one of their greatest contributions was character development in sketch comedy. (Plus, even though people speak of the KITH - like Python - being cross-dressers, it is done not for cheap laughs, but to make some pointed observations on relationships and sexual politics).

I think I've answered my own question - now, it's back to checking out this KITH blog...and waiting expectantly for Seasons 4 and 5.

Selected Shout Outs

First, to the man, the myth, the legend, Fred Hembeck, whose birthday's quickly approaching. For everyone else, please map yourselves, as I intend to throw him a surprise party.

Also, to Eddie at Renaissance Geek and TJ, my Skyway CD Exchange partner - thanks for the tunes. I not only have some cool music, but it also allows me to guiltlessly sell off my extensive collection of Barry Manilow bootlegs to make room.

Just to chime in my two cents on the Frank Miller Pantygate - personally, I suspect that Mr. Miller is slowly - but surely - becoming the Rod Stewart of comics writers. If you need me to explain the analogy, please say so in the comments.

Andy shares with us things you'll never hear Dr. Phil say. (And please, if you need entertainin', hire him. I've seen him live. He's funny, and in a very intentional way)

Finally, proof positive you can watch too much Star Trek.

Plagiarism For Fun & Profit

Since Greg stole this idea - a random sentence for each month of a blog - I'm going to steal it. (Plus, I have a line on a temp work assignment, and I'll be hopefully gainfully employed permanently within the next few weeks.) Enjoy!

January - I now must make Fred Hembeck cake

February - I mean, crikey, Peter Parker has seen more action than I have!

March - Right now, working with Franklin County is like rehabbing a tin shack into the Playboy mansion, and I mean that in a good way

April - ...eating breaded steak sandwiches the size of Doberman puppies.

May - We concluded he was either 1) playing golf and/or 2) downloading Internet porn

June - There's nothing wrong with being a semi-lame duck

July - However, I wouldn't go out of my way to download this story illegally

August - So it's my "I-had-a-yucky-engagement-and-all-I-got-was-a-Golden-Age-
Sandman-action-figure" charm..

September - All I can say is, for everything I lack in scientific knowledge, I more than make up for in watching bad television for most of my life

October - Lesson learned: never leave penguini unsupervised.

November - (Our new motto: more wacky links than Delenda Est Carthago).

December - ....or "how I learned to stop worrying and appreciate those who cleaned out their Firefox bookmarks for my entertainment"

Thanks, and enjoy!

Records You Should Own

It's that time again, friends - time to focus on another Record You Should Own. These are albums that may not have gotten the attention they should receive - or, at the very least, are albums that are pretty damn cool.

Flashback to 1985: based on a Smokey Robinson-sounding single, I purchased a record called Steady Nerves by Graham Parker. However, every review I read about this album had the same theme - "It's good, but it's no Squeezing Out Sparks."

After that, I purchased a used LP copy, and...well, the rest is history. Our record this week is the expanded Squeezing Out Sparks (the expanded part I'll explain in a minute).

Pop Culture Gadabout has a wonderful overview of Parker's career, and Mr. Parker himself has a web site, but suffice it to say - this album came at a crossroads. Even twenty-six years after its initial release, it is a crackling good album, mixing R & B swing with straightforward rock. I don't think there's a bum track in the entire album, from the dramatic "Discovering Japan" to the anthemic "Passion Is No Ordinary Word", from the sneering "Local Girls" to the otherworldly "Waiting for the UFOs". This is a solidly written album, one of the first of many in Parker's career...but it showed a songwriter and band meshing completely.

(Plus, Parker is one of the most quotable songwriters. Unlike his contemporaries Elvis Costello and Joe Jackson, he doesn't seem infatuated with his cleverness. Every clever turn of phrase services what Parker's trying to say. In a way, Parker is to songwriting what Quentin Tarantino would later be to screenwriting).

Around the same time, a promo-only Live Sparks album was released to radio stations, complete with live versions of the songs on SOS, with two inclusions - a live "I Want You Back" that smokes the Jackson 5 version, and Parker's own "Mercury Poisoning", decrying his treatment by a former record company. Luckily, this album was included in a release of SOS, resulting in an "expanded edition". The live tracks only prove the power of Parker's then-backing band, the Rumor, show Parker's onstage ability, and really help provide you, the home listener, value for the money.

So, if you want a balls-out album, or even a great starting point to explore Parker's career (be sure to check out Pop Culture Gadabout's other recommendations ), then Squeezing Out Sparks is definitely a "Record You Should Own."

New Year's Resolution Assistance

So you had quite the New Year's celebration...and you're only now getting over the hangover. You've resolved never to drink that much again, but you need motivation, and quite frankly, you don't have time to wade through the AA Big Book. You may even be a little weirded out by Redhead Librarian's referral logs. It is in that spirit that this blog offers a link to...

Alcoholics Anonymous Comic Strips

(PLEASE NOTE - I am a trained substance abuse counselor. I know people in 12 Step recovery. They'd find this just as funny as I - and most other normal people - would. If you're offended...well, go listen to Pat Boone, or something).

Enjoy.

Nostalgia For An Age Yet To Come

You know it's inevitable, being the 40th anniversary of the show - Brits want it to return (why, when they have a cool new Doctor Who?), more rumors about another movie are bandied about...it makes it hard to like Trek. I loved the original series, liked The Next Generation, thought DS9 rocked, and with Voyager and Enterprise, saw my beloved series fall down harder than Pee Wee Herman's career.

Of course, I recently came across this Wired article about a fan-driven "continuation" of the original series. Star Trek: The New Voyages has been getting a lot of attention - and has even been entered in the Internet Movie Data Base. In fact, several key players - including a TOS Actor and Gene Roddenberry's son - have given their support to this endeavor. Was I being bitter or cynical, or should I at least give the latest episode - "In Harm's Way" - a chance?

Scouring the internet for download sites, I took advantage, and all I can say is...to paraphrase Public Enemy, Don't Believe the Hype.

To be totally fair, there are some really nice touches - there's a greater energy than the Original Series, and many of the effects shots are more in line with 21st Century television sci-fi than 1960s. Plus, Jack Cawley makes a pretty good Captain Kirk - emphasizing the daring and heroism in the character without leaving teeth marks in the scenery. (Imagine a slightly younger Robert Conrad as Captain Kirk, and you'll have a good - although slightly inaccurate - idea).

However, what turns me away from "In Harm's Way" is the overreliance on continuity. Yes, much like recent DC Comics, this film seems less like a celebration of the values of the original series and more like mediocre fan fiction. Doomsday machines, time travel, the Guardian of Forever - even the commentary reeks of "hey, look at what we did" versus expanding the universe Roddenberry created. In a way, the New Voyages is a step backward - celebrating not the pioneering spirit of the original series, but engaging in nostalgia for its own sake.

My advice, if you want to see some excellent Trek fan films, is simple - rent or purchase the Trekkies 2 DVD. Under Special Features, you'll find two short films - one a comic take; the other a mixture of Trek and westerns. Both of them are short, enjoyable, and really speak more about the flexible nature of Trek. In addition, you can read plenty of fan-written scripts at Star Trek: Renaissance, which makes no claims - nor seems to have sought - "official" approval, which is probably how it should be.

Ron Moore was right - Trek is back in the hands of the fans. It's somewhat disappointing that a small group is getting attention for focusing on the past rather than building towards the future.

And that's what the 40th Anniversary of Trek should be about - not nostalgia for an age yet to come.

Happy New Year!

Well, first off, had a great time with friends last night, nasty post-cold symptoms notwithstanding. (It's hard to be a mack daddy when you're feeling less-than-normal). However, I wanted to say that it was cool to catch Dick Clark again, although rather briefly.

As for me, today will be spent in my normal ritual, watching the filmed antics of the greatest comedians of the 20th century.





Have a happy, healthy, joyful 2006. Normal blogging to resume later.